


I need you but you don't

by xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Depressing, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Fujiki Yuusaku/Homura Takeru, Possibly Unrequited Love, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Short, Short One Shot, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:33:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25589905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx/pseuds/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx
Summary: Yusaku can't sleep. Takeru's far away from him.Yusaku's depression makes him think of him in the worst way.Takeru doesn't need him. He's okay where he is, with his friends and family.And Yusaku is not okay with being alone, but that's still okay too.||Vent fic||
Relationships: Fujiki Yuusaku & Homura Takeru, Fujiki Yuusaku/Homura Takeru
Kudos: 15





	I need you but you don't

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't sleep well and was feeling like shit so I just wanted to write this short vent fic, with depressed!Yusaku that maybe a little ooc i don't know.
> 
> But that's why this is posted here.
> 
> I used TakeYusa because I can.

The heaviness of his eyelids sticky from the tears that dried up after crying for more than half an hour in full despair at the lack of self-control, his emotions; his self-esteem, added to the scent of the sheets that carried with the smell of his body having holding his presence for months. Staying glued to the mattress and the sheets because they were his only comfort.

Anguish was piling up in his throat. He was used to chewing that feeling alone but the attachment to the person shining on his phone had him on the edge of the fear of losing who was able to soothe his sorrows.

But now, his nameless fears and sorrows were stronger. His hatred of himself was more intense and sudden than the growing affection for the person who he wanted so much to be by his side but lived so far away.

Takeru Homura lived in a town far from the city, far from Yusaku's decisions and courage to go see him and receive the warmth of his arms, his voice and his gaze as he so desired.

At the time, it was harder to control this nocturnal anxiety, daily that lived since he was little and was climbing to greater dangers, such as tearing his skin to see the red spilling into his wrists.

That was a secret he was willing to keep. He wouldn't tell Takeru he wasn't feeling okay and if he did, he wouldn't be so specific, he wouldn't confess how much he needed him to hug him.

He wouldn't tell him he couldn't stand loneliness and the fear of losing the most wonderful person in the world anymore. Also, thinking that if he lost Takeru, he himself deserved it.

He didn't deserve Takeru. He didn't deserve to be with anyone because he was emotionally fucked up.

He had lost his strength, his self-esteem who knows when. And now his arms marked with his hatred suffered from the return of his old habits.

The thinness caused by his desire to be destroyed. Why did he hate himself so much? That would ask anyone, that's what he asked.

But he never let this out in front of Takeru's wonderful smile. At least the one he imagined because, they were only spoken by texting. And Takeru had another life.

Kiku. His grandparents, his work, his problems.

How could he be the cause of his stress just because he can't control his depression? Takeru didn't have to deal with that.

So, shutting up was the best decision. Crying alone was the best decision.

Reading the last message Takeru sent him, and writing:

**_I wish I could feel a real hug now._ **

**_I wish you were here and I could tell you how important you are to me_ **

Then delete it and say nothing. It was, without a doubt, the best decision.

Because Takeru was happy with other people and he, the emotional disaster, felt something that would never be reciprocated.

Confess something that could keep him out of his life forever…

… was the worst decision

  
  
  



End file.
